Posts Tagged express

Nightmare is a Waste of Time

For more than 20 years I walk the earth, nightmares still crawling around me. Nobody likes it, nobody want it, yet nightmares come to you uninvited. The nightmares colonized your fantasy for as long as they want without any warning, and vanish whenever they desire. They shapes in all form and understand you well, well enough to manipulate your beliefs that you would start doubting what you are, not just in the dream, but in the reality as well. They don’t attack once, nobody knows when they will strike again, but everyone can’t deny that the nightmares always leave behind confusion and fear.

See what I mean? I just wasted my time describing how cool the nightmare is, I mean, what’s the point? I should be studying for my exam! Yes, you did it again nightmare, well done. Well I’m not quite sure what is the purpose of writing all these but I do know that it was because of the nightmare I had recently, I got the idea what to write. No matter what kind of nightmares, it’s always either you can’t yell, you run very slow, strength reduced 80%, left defenseless, helpless or simply humiliating. These are the common things that I experienced in my nightmares, what about you?

Those common stuff that I experienced in the nightmare, are not the big problem, after all it was only just a dream. The main problem is, nightmares come while you are sleeping. When I go to sleep, I’m expecting to rest my body and mind peacefully, without any distraction. However, nightmares come uninvited and ruined the good time. I mean, come on, don’t these nightmares have anything to do? Go take up some music instrumental class or something, do something useful, contribute to the society! Anyway, the nightmares cause my brain cells actively running and disturbing a good night sleep. Hence, not enough sleep and feeling tired for the next day. So basically I’m suppose to be sleeping, but the nightmares ruined it and I wasted my time lying on the bed for nothing.

Imagine, if the nightmares give some sort of warning letter 5 days ahead, then I can plan and rearrange my schedule properly to make way for the nightmares. Probably sleep more before that or try to finish stuff earlier. See that? It’s a win-win situation. Unfortunately we all know that won’t happen, it’s just my fantasy. But seriously, if I know nightmares would come, I might just stay up and do other useful stuff, although tiring, but at least I make full use of my time, much better than rolling around the bed don’t you think?

Again, my time is wasted trying to describe how nightmares wasted my time. I once was kid, fear the nightmares of its creepiness. Now, I still fear the nightmares, for its time wasting ability. What about you? Nightmares creep you out?


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My 4th Dimension

I get distracted easily, and I always find it frustrating. My imagination tend to go wild even when the cricket quiets down. Be it in the public or alone, my imagination never sleep. It sound good isn’t it? There is a problem with it, the imagination were too abstract most of it which make it hard for me to translate it into the world. I guess I will need discipline to control my thoughts.

Somehow, I found several ways to bridge the abstract into the world, my world at least. Writing them down, is the most basic step among all. Lately, I mingle around videography as a new hobby, that is a good method too. The most fascinating method I ever found was dancing. I am able to channel my self into the other dimension and get out with full control. Unlike the other two methods I mentioned, I can only deliver them out. But dancing, I am able to go in the 4th dimension and at the same time hold ground to reality.

It does not ensure distraction immunity, I still get distracted. I’m not distracted because of people looking at me or what so ever, but I get distracted when I sense depreciation and ignorance. When humans are desperate, they would do anything to achieve their needs. I do get desperate when I keep failing to get into the atmosphere, and I will close my eyes, to stop my brain from interpreting my physical sight.

Slowly, I started to light some fire, just so that I am able to see in the dark. Each breath I take is another step into the other dimension. Step by step and I am in. Sometimes I use the music as a booster, it’s like a transportation that helps me travel faster. Once I am in, the outside world are no longer heard.

I dwell in it, feel it, until it overflows me. Then my body started to move, starting from the smallest gesture, to release what’s overwhelmed me. As the feeling flows much stronger than the river streams, my body starting to move more and more. It feels awesome as I am able to manipulate the abstract, deliver it into the world instantly and having full control of it. Of course I hardly get the original idea out because there is an interpretation process going on in between, and I deliver back in the interpreted idea, then it provide a space to define another new thing.

I don’t stay inside for long, that would be running away from the reality. I will go back to reality, and it is easy. Much easier than snapping your fingers. I just open my eyes, and I am back.

How I wish, people can visit each others imagination. It would be a great experience and awesome way to exchange ideas.

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The Red Dice

Since this post in categorized as random. I am going to tell a random story. The stories centers around a place named Cyberjaya. There live many boys and girls, but I am going to talk about one boy only, me. I bought a new sony handycam mainly to record my own choreography, persevering memory and produce casual videos. As for producing casual videos, I randomly inspired to use red dice. Hence, a search for red dice begin.

According to the standard protocol of a searching mission, research about the subject is require before any further action and that is what I did. Okay I am sorry, I lied, I did not do any research for red dice. With no hesitation I walk out the house and start looking for red dice. Deep inside my heart, I knew that the red dice is not something common, therefore, I decided to travel to KL, the “New York” of Malaysia to search the red dice.

From station to station, bus-stop to bus-stop, yes, I reached KL. Since the red dice is rare, so I started off with the rare looking stall and shop lots around the “golden river”, Sungai Wang. Surprisingly none of them got what I came for, the red dice. That did not stop me to keep looking for the red dice. I re-draw the plan and try to allocate another strategic location.

The next location was Time Square, a place where the time is always square. Every time I step into the building, I feel that my time is square. I did not get distracted by other things, I was fully focus on the searching. I start asking around the mini stall and they all shook their heads like they never did before. I keep walking until I came across some gifts and souvenirs shop. I pull all the courage from all direction of oxygen and ask the cashier, ” Do you sell dice? ” . ” What’s that? ” she replied. I said it twice but she shook her head. I shouted to my friends outside the shop, ” Hey, what do you call dice in chinese ?” and I deliver the message using chinese, but still the cashier shook her heads. The shop owner came out and just about before he speak the first word, the cashier somehow understand me. She said, ” Oh, dice, sorry we don’t sell it here.”

That was disappointing, but no matter what, I was determined to find the red dice. I tried the magic store, but they do not sell normal dice. Instead, they ask me to go for the bookstore. The bookstore, where people sell books, also happen to be selling dice as well, but it was white dice. All the negative event did not discourage me. However, I was a little bit tired for carrying too much of hope with such result.

No matter what, I keep on walking, in a square manner. When all hopes seems to be fading away, something bright was just in front of my eyes. I heard some voices coming from the shop, it was so soft yet sharp. The shop looks fancy, it was a fancy looking gift and souvenirs shop. The moment I step into the shop, I can feel the presence of the red dice. I tried so hard to look for it, from left to right, up and down, the red dice was no where to be found. Again, I summoned the courage from all direction of oxygen, to ask the cashier. She gave me a sad look saying, ” We do sell dice here, unfortunately they are all red in color ­čśŽ “.

Despite looking at the sad face, I smile in return. ” Perfect, that’s what I need. “, I said. I can see all the red dice, all red looking gorgeous dices. I was so obsessed with it that I purchase three red dice at the price of RM 3. With the red dices in my palm, I felt like holding the world, full of glorious joy. I walked home with glory that day.

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Expressive Moves

There is a phrase that says, “dance to express, not to impress”. This is something that is quite hard for some dancers to achieve. These dancer tend to choreograph moves that look cool or technically difficult, with the intention to impress others. I’m not saying that it is wrong, there is no right or wrong in dancing, that is one of the reason why dancing can be so dynamic in general, and keep evolving.

Doing expressive moves might not be easy, but it’s definitely fun and worth putting effort in it. Most of the time we see expressive moves are kinda slow, but expressive moves can be fast and powerful as well. The speed of movement doesn’t define if it is an expressive move. It is when the music play, you feel the music, and you try to dance out what you feel from the music. That is more to a free flow expressing or most people call it free-styling. Of course there are other ways too, you can try to understand the big picture of the music, or capture what the artist is trying to tell or convey, and put it in a choreography accordingly to the music. Besides that, you can also use another approach which is quite similar to lyrical dance, translating the song into dance and most of the time translating the lyric of the song. I don’t really like this approach because most of the time when trying to translate the song, I think about what moves should I do next, and this is the thing that I’m trying to avoid. It is best that the moves come out of your feeling, an interpretation of your feeling towards the music. It is suppose to be expressive, and how you relate the music with you.

When it comes to expressive moves, we know that we should express our feeling towards it. Some people might ask, what kind of expression should be display, what kind of feeling should be express. Well, you can express anything you want. A lot of new dancers tend to go deep when trying to choreograph expressive moves. They usually go for love theme, but there is a lot more you can do such as anger towards certain society issues, how sad can the family be when they felt the lost of you, or just happily enjoying every moment of life. Anything that you can think of, put it in a scenario to make it easier, or you can try to dance out your past as well.

One of the world best choreographer that I think he would best describe what is expressive moves through his art craft is Shaun Evaristo. If you get to watch him dance, you can probably feel the connection that he had with the music, and you can see how he put it out. His choreography is always smooth yet powerful, simple yet dynamic. He’s an inspiration that can make you dare to choreograph new and rare stuff, or directing a performance in a different perspective.

I’ve been dancing for quite some times now, and that is what I learned, what I experienced, what I would like to share.

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How I Get Started

I used to hang out at almost every cybercafe in my hometown after my SPM 2006. At that time I was still a stranger in the cyberspace but somehow I got into Youtube and hooked up with it since then. The first video I watch was a breakdance video clip, Gamblerz against Fantastic Armada.

The moment I saw bboy-soulsoy dance, that’s when I found a purpose to live. He inspired me to dance. ( I only knew his name few months later ) Immediately I did research about dancing. So the first dance art form that I learn is Breakdance or Bboy-ing.

Few months later, I went to Malacca to further studies in 2007. There, I met Integrity Groove ( IG crew ). They introduced me another art form of dance, hip hop dance. It was hard for me to accept the new art form at first but soon I started to excel Hip Hop dance much faster than Breakdance. As I practice with them, I witnessed more type of dance such as locking, popping, krumping and street jazz. It was a tremendous joy to dance with them but unfortunately, a year later I moved to Cyberjaya to continue my degree.

In 2008, I received an invitation to be in a dance crew some where in KL. I rejected that offered as they are 2 more dancer from IG crew also further their studies around KL. We made a promise to compete together as a team of 3 in KL, but we failed to do so. I felt so disappointed for that matter and also the fact that Cyberjaya’s residents are not that into dance.

During emerge 2009, my cellgroup leader got the initiative to get the whole cellgroup into the Emerge Got Talent. For the first time ever I have to teach people how to dance and I have to choreograph as well. I reluctantly agreed to do it but I thank God for this opportunity. It was the one thing that pushes me to the next level. Since then, I am confident to choreograph.

Suddenly in 2010, there was 2 dancer, or would likely to be known as, bboys, ┬ástarted an unofficial dance club and I joined them. It’s starting to get recognize in the campus now as they started to perform for several events.

So that’s probably how I started to dance and how I still continue to dance. I may stop writing here, but the journey continues out there…

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